And no. I don’t mean that thing where we exercise out "right" to set off large quantities of fireworks next month.

Last weekend, I spent some time with some friends who now live out of town.

We did the “usual touristy” things like Greektown and the Casinos.

They wanted me to go with them to the Grand Prix, but I’m more of a NASCAR Guy than IndyCar.

Afterwards, I insisted on changing things up and that we go down to Lafayette to eat.

I told them that it was part of the “Authentic Detroit” dining experience and that sort of thing.

They had never been down there and after initially scarring the hell out of them (along with equally confusing them with how the food was ordered/delivered), they settled down a bit and we started to catch up on things. They began to comment on local stuff, basically regurgitating what people like Gov. Snyder, et al, were shoveling to the rest of the country about how things have turned around since the bankruptcy.

I laughed at their comments and replied to the effect that, “Yeah! They wish!”

“Look at all of this new stuff downtown? How can you argue that things aren’t better?”, they replied.

I told them that “Yes”, the Downtown Area has improved. Large amounts of government money tends to eventually do that. “Yes” places like the Riverfront have gotten nicer.

But then I added, the same cannot be said for the rest of the city.

They didn’t believe me.

They couldn’t accept the fact that everything was as bad as I told them it was.

I told them, “Fine, want to go on a little trip?”

They were a little apprehensious to say the least, but we loaded up into their car and we went happy motoring…away from the freeways.

I took them in places where even Crowder wouldn’t dare to venture!

We went up and down places like Jefferson, and then Warren and Mack where it didn’t take that long to notice the large swaths of bombed out/burned out neighborhoods (at least I think they were neighborhoods at one time), large piles of trash and abandoned/stolen vehicles (along with boats…yes boats) strewn about, pretty much every other building covered with graffiti, I told my now visibly scared “driver” that I wanted to stop at the next party store because I wanted to get something to drink.

Yes, I did that on purpose.

So, while we parked across the street and started walking towards the party store, I got bombarded with a ton of questions (besides is this really safe) like why that particular store had a chain-link fence around the roof topped with razor wire, why there were thick metal plate doors next to the entrance and why was there a flashing green light on the sign outside of the building. When we went inside, they did a double-take at the walkway surrounding most of the perimeter of the inside of the building separated by 1-inch thick Lexan.

I casually grabbed a 2-liter of Rock N’ Rye, they didn’t get anything (I cannot imagine why) and we went back to their car. I still had more to show them.

Continuing our “tour”, they still couldn’t get over the flashing strobe light on the sign.

“Oh that? That’s Green Light.”

And here is where out story turns to next…

{More after the fold}

Green Light, I explained to them, was a system put into place by the City of Detroit last year mandating that every business install a high def camera system.

“What do you mean mandate?”

I told them that if you want to open a business that caters to the public like a restaurant, store or bar, you MUST buy a camera system and then pay a monthly fee so that DPD can monitor your business in the event they get robbed. Just like the NSA’s Utah Data Center, it is purportedly constantly monitored by someone so that police can more quickly dispatch a car to the scene of the crime.

How anyone is able to make sense out of all of those feeds simultaneously is anyone’s guess. Even I need to get up every so often after binge-watching something on Netflix. And that’s just one channel.

But not to fear (or so we’re told), these businesses are ALWAYS being monitored and a recording is made from the feed coming from each and every camera. So everyone from little ole’ me just walking in and buying a bottle of pop to some worthless piece of trash looking to score some free stuff…smile, we’re all on Candid Camera.

IMHO, It’s really not that much different from the security theater we now see at the airports.

I should point out that Detroit won’t pay one cent for any of this. The business owner does.

It’s only a “nominal” upfront cost of about $5k for the equipment and a monthly fee of $140/month for “monitoring”, after that you are now compliant with the latest set of laws in Detroit. Business people can afford it, that’s how they can afford to own a business.Or so goes the logic from inside of the C.A.Y.M.C.

In reality, it makes for something interesting to see the latest antics of the criminals in Detroit on the local news. Plus it provides a nice revenue stream for Comcast.

After my “tour” where my friends rose-colored glasses were eventually shattered into itty-bitty pieces (and then subsequently ran over by a truck), we called it a night and we all went home.

While listening to the news last night, I caught something that is worth sharing here.

Not only are new businesses REQUIRED to purchase a Green Light system, but Detroit City Council is now considering requiring the same of businesses open after 10pm.

It’s bad enough that you have to spend money to make your business look like a fortress straight out of WWII. It’s even worse that you are forced to spend even more money on a system that doesn’t even do what it was promised to do.

Now the people who ran a major metropolitan city into bankruptcy are now telling local businesses how they should operate.

Tell me again why we were forced to bailout Detroit?