Humor in Michigan

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Saturday Funnies

Just when we aren't looking, Democrats found another way to game the process.

Fake tea parties, pretending to give voters representation in redistricting, fake concern for children..

When will it all end?

And NOW they seem to have found a way to get their candidates extra leverage with a little known system called “compound vote tallying.”

It just ain’t fair.

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Idiotorial Departments

Team Little Nerd grabs onto an iron life vest.

Brian Calley has picked up his second endorsement from a ‘major newspaper outlet’

Both the Free Press and the Detroit News have endorsed Mr. Mom (Brian Calley) for the gubernatorial position while purposefully ignoring surging candidate (Patrick Colbeck) altogether.

Readers should be reminded of whom these two ‘news’ outlets chose for the presidential contests in 2016.

The Detroit Free Press proposed that Felonious Von PantSuit was the ‘Mature choice.‘  And the Detroit News Clown show chose perennial loser Gary Johnson.  Obviously, these are well reasoned editorial geniuses.

There can be no doubt that such brilliance in electoral choice will be repeated, again and again.

 

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Return Of The Clown Car

CS sent me a heads up on one of our favorite swamp critters.

Already famed #TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome) sufferer Nolan Finley has begun his anti #winning campaign on behalf of all those who are sad that their #surrender days are over. Penning what is probably not the last of such chicken pecked screed, Finley suggests that maybe Donald Trump should just go home and play with his billions in 2020.

The guy has $3 billion, and what good is it doing him? He can’t jet set around the world anymore, and he’s no longer welcome at the chi-chi Manhattan soirees. No more languid summer days on yachts surrounded by half-naked super models he could squeeze without a single #metoo worry. Washington can’t be as much fun for a player like Trump as was Miami.

Izzatso?

There are some of us who relish the frequent lefty head splodes and RINO suicide watch parties. The president appears to be even more enthralled with it all.  I suspect there could be no more fun for the man who clearly loves God, loves his country, loves power, loves attention, and loves the game as much as The Donald.

But as always, Finley and company cannot grasp this.  Call it a shallow pool of perspective, maybe a sheltered life, or just plain deficiency in pattern recognition, but clearly, he doesn’t yet get it.  Finley continues with the nonsense:

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The Michigan Connection

Maybe North Korean efforts might have been more difficult if not for a former Detroit athlete?

As you know, these pages have been primarily for Michigan based political discussion and opinion.

I thought this might be an opportune time to offer some credit to an unlikely recipient of praise for anything ‘diplomatic.’ The strange path to regained world prominence continues with a historic effort by Donald Trump’s administration and possibly bolstered by a former Detroit (among others) basketball player.

The effort by our president and his team in Singapore appears to have borne fruit.  Removing the nuclear threat from North Korea is now a very real possibility, and even better, the possibility of continued human rights abuses by that regime will be lessened as economic growth and wealth realization appeals to its leadership.

Kim Jong Un, who came to power following the death of his father Kim Jong-il in 2011, an heir to a dictatorship has always had a taste for western luxury.  A private yacht akin to a Disney ride, and port turned into a private resort. Former Piston Dennis Rodman described it as a Seven Star Party:

“He’s got 50 to 60 around him all the time – just normal people, drinking cocktails and laughing the whole time. …If you drink a bottle of tequila, it’s the best tequila .. Everything you want, he has the best.”

And Rodman was laughed at by many folks (including myself) for his attempt at personal diplomacy.

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Bat Guano Crazy

Libertarian attention desperation suggests purposeful anarchy?

Give the mentally ill weapons. Specifically shotguns, for personal defense, right?

That is the attention grabbing tactic used by the most recent Libertarian candidate for the Michigan US Senate seat.  Brian Ellison, a veteran from SE Michigan is currently raising money to give out 20 pump style shotguns to the homeless.

According to Michigan radio Ellison is serious:

Ellison acknowledges his campaign, “Arm the Homeless,” has shock value that will bring attention to his campaign. But he says as a third-party candidate going up against well-funded Democratic and Republican opponents, shock value is about the only thing he can do to get media coverage.

But he says there is a serious intent to the campaign, which is to bring attention to the high rates of violent crime against homeless people, as well as the dehumanization of the homeless.

Uh..  Brian? The only thing?

Shock value does not mean good policy.  Consider a primary reason so many are homeless.  Mental illness, and the inability of our society to reconcile the use of drugs and other mind wasting substances. Our state mental institutions are closed, and the results are in many cases wandering bodies.

I am a solid 2A guy.  Hell, I have often argued that the mentally ill ought to be able to defend themselves with firearms if they so desire.  However, there are different stages of mental illness; some of them are not so predictable.

Kinda like random Libertarian attention grabbing stunts, yeah?

 

 

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Where is everyone???

We're ready to hear from the audience...all five of you.

After catching up on yesterday’s goings on up in Lansing, I just needed to share this (laugh) with everyone.

It’s yesterday’s “Michigan Democratic Party response to the 2018 SOTS”.

Don’t worry, I’m not here to torture everyone, the clip is already cued up to the best part of the entire speech.

Notice anything missing?

Submitted w/o any further comment.

 

 

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But, none of this is what Gov Snyder promised Michigan Taxpayers after the bailout???

Unless you have the Pollyanna-ish worldview that a certain sitting Michigan Governor possesses, honestly none of this should come as a surprise to anyone.

Round two in the Detroit Mayoral Race (which in case anyone is interested, has the first and only televised debate tonite).

And the sad part here is that I could’ve found more rundown areas of Detroit than are featured below.

 

Submitted w/o any further comment.

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Satire – Call To Action: Stop child predators! Pass Common Sense Cell Phone reform today!

I must credit some of this to my co-worker Mike.  He and I discussed this “solution”.  We had some laughs discussing a gun-control like approach to solving abuse of technology to pick up on young people.

I’ve seen articles about Brooke Lajiness and her predilections for young males pop up in my news feed recently.  It got me thinking, society cannot let this happen!  We must take action to stop future cougars from using these tools to prey on the young and vulnerable.  It’s time for common sense reform, and I have some ideas of how!

Step 1 – Government Licensing of Smart Phone dealers

First thing we need is the Federal Government to step in and start licensing business that sell smart phones on a retail level.  Additionally, the Federal Government should license manufacturers and importers of smart phones.  Manufacturers, importers, and retailers should be required to keep a registry of all smart phones they manufacture, import, or sell and keep  serialized records for 20 years.  Federally licensed retailers should be required to run background checks of potential smart phone buyers.  This will keep smart phones out of the hands of known predators — people that have a past of: child pornography, furnishing pornography to minors, sexual conduct with a child, and other such sex offenses.

Step 2 – Universal Background Checks for Phone Purchases

I think we can all agree ensuring there is a background check every time ownership of a smart phone changes hands is the next most common sense step we as a society can take to protect our children!  This will make sure people reselling their smart phones to others will have to first make sure the person passes the same federal background check we require retailers to run.  It’ll close the street sale loophole left by the previous proposal.  If we only implement Step 1, the criminals will be able to procure smart phones by going on to Craigslist.

Step 3 – Age Restrictions on Smart Phone ownership

People under the age of 18 should not be able to buy (or perhaps even possess) smart phones!  If we keep these devices out of the hands of the young and vulnerable then we will be making steps towards a society that is safer for our children.

Step 4 – Limit availability of certain dangerous features

Certain things are just plain dangerous to have in proximity of cell phones, I’ve included a few examples below.

4.1 Selfie Sticks

Selfie sticks are a common tool of those who provide indecent material to minors and solicit them for sex!  By making sure these devices are not available, we limit the ability of these predators to operate.  It should be a federal felony for anyone to possess (without a license) a selfie stick while also possessing a smart phone that fits on said stick.  The licensing process to possess these sticks needs to be very thorough, including fingerprinting, submissions of photos of yourself, and getting sign-off from local law-enforcement.

4.2 Phones that shoot pictures in rapid succession or record videos

This technology is simply dangerous!  It can be used to lure young people into horrific activities such as described in the new story cited in the top of the article.  Similar steps in 4.1 should be followed for controlling this technology.

4.3 Military Style Smart Phone features

These are features dangerous when combined with other features.  Phones with 2 or more of these features make them especially useful for abuse.

  • Otter Boxes and other military-style similar phone cases
  • Phones that are Black in color
  • Storage Capacity in Excess of 4 GB
  • The ability to install third party apps
  • Phones smaller than 8″ in diagonal measurement
  • Phones that can install applications that haven’t been approved by the phone manufacturer

 

I hope we can all agree to these common sense reform measures.  We must preserve the innocence of our children!

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They Need More Coloring Books

Kalkaska Mayor demonstrates common sense by not engaging in unwinnable enterprise.

I just love it.

If someone said “hey come on by for a bit, cause we want to humiliate you, kick your grapes, and pour shame syrup all over you,” the usual response from squishy politicos, would be “can I bring the sprinkles?”  Tis true.   That is essentially what has happened in the past.

It goes like this:

  • 1.  Politico or popular figure says or does something considered politically incorrect, or off-colored.
  • 2. Rage from community, usually driven from those who simply don’t like that politico. Because .. words.
  • 3. News outlets, always looking for the next hand out of humble pie pile on with sensationalized reporting, never taking a position, but carefully framing the events.
  • 4. Politico, feeling pressure from all side caves in, and feeds the beast.

Few can take the onslaught of abuse, usually delivered by the crazy left in a way that would make Saul Alinsky proud.

“Humor is essential to a successful tactician, for the most potent weapons known to mankind are satire and ridicule.”

We already know the lefties ain’t too humorous up in these here parts.  There isn’t really much else for them.

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