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By JGillman, Section News
For about 5 years the Pavlovian expectation of a cigarette followed every meal.
In about 11 months, I celebrate my 20th anniversary of being tobacco free. In the first 5 years of that, it was a fight to stay off the nicotine, and the body and mind played tricks to try and get me puffing again. Stress, the after dinner reach for a pack, drive time, all of those things I thought of as pleasurable for so long, reached up from the depths often, in order to regain its hold over me. Its hold from a time when I was its slave, and it was my benevolent master.
As long as I fed it, the habit made me relax for a time, and I was allowed to live in my skin.
Some folks have compared tobacco addiction to that of heroin, or other narcotics. Others, to its oft used partner, alcohol. Though I have never experienced the withdrawal effects of those, I believe I understand them as a result of having had been a smoker for well over a decade. The 'habit' was more than that. It was an unchangeable lifestyle; a daily thing that demanded my attention, or the consequences would be hellish.
There is a drug that is worse however.
And it won't be your body or mind reminding you how bad its going to be without it. It will be active little monsters who also get a high from it, and want you hooked for as long as it takes for THEM to live THEIR lives.
(12 comments, 793 words in story) Full Story
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