Being stuck behind enemy lines, I can tell you exactly what is in those democrat newsletters.

Thoughtful, well-written "articles" like:

• I understand your pain through these tough economic times, which is why I'm promoting the same policies that caused them in the first place.

• Here I am with the latest group of visitors from my home district. These little scamps from the {name redacted} Elementary School have never met an elected official before. I needed to explain to their young, impressionable, potential future democratic voter minds that their parents are wrong, my co-workers aren't named "Bozo", "Oopsy" and "Chucko the Clown". Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get these annoying large wet pieces of dandruff out of my hair (Funny, I didn't have this problem before I went into the Capitol Visitor Center).

• Do you want some official state booklets and brochures? I have obtained a suitable number of copies for my constituents like: "How to get government benefits", "What state government can get for you" and "Your guide to government entitlements". Old copies of the Michigan Constitution with my sticker over Gov Granholm's name are also available.

• Do you like coffee? I hold meetings within my local districts to discuss pressing issues with my constituents. Snicker!!! But really, the coffee is free. It's part of my office budget paid for by your tax dollars.

• BTW, did I mention that I was promoting those same programs that caused the economy to tank. More government regulation (you can't be too safe you know), more government bureaucracy and more government spending and the proven solutions to any economic malaise.