Professor Kefah Mokbel, a consultant breast surgeon at the London Breast Institute at the Princess Grace hospital, who is in charge of the project, . . . believes the stem cell treatment may be suitable only for modest increases in breast size, but will conduct research to find out whether larger augmentations can be achieved:  "We are optimistic we can easily achieve an increase of one cup size.  We cannot say yet if we can achieve more.  That may depend on the stem cells we can harvest."

Yup, that's right, stem cells as breast augmentation.  Apparently the good professor-doctor will start with ten patients in May and - if things develop as they're expected to - should be able to offer the treatment to private patients starting six months following (November, for those slow on the math) for around £6,500 (about $9,303.12 at April 1 currency rates).  Right now I know there are guys and gals out there wondering if this is something that their insurance will cover.

Now mind you, this didn't start as such a bad thing.  Apparently, six years ago Japanese doctors developed this treatment as a reconstruction method for women who've been left with deformities following cancer surgery.  But, as with everything else like this, somebody just had to figure out how to turn this into a vanity thing.  Go figure.

On the upside, it seems that stem cell therapy poses less risk than either saline or silicon prosthetics, which can cause some pretty serious scarring.

[Mokbel] said the treatment offered the potential of considerable improvement on implants:  "Implants are a foreign body.  They are associated with long-term complications and require replacement.  They can also leak and cause scarring."

However, there does seem to be at least one drawback.

Although the stem cell technique will restore volume, it will not provide firmness and uplift.

So, volume without the firmness; not exactly my cup of tea, but I'll bet that bra manufacturers everywhere are going to be able to provide support for the end result.

"This is a very exciting advance in breast surgery," said Mokbel.  "They [breasts treated with stem cells] feel more natural because this tissue has the same softness as the rest of the breast."

Sure, really exciting.  Right about now, if I've written this right, you're any one of three things:

• Really, really mad - to the point of outraged enough to throw something

• In complete shock and denial because you refuse to believe what's right before your eyes

• Laughing at the absurdity of it all (because your sanity demands that reaction)

Except that I never said that this was embryonic stems cells being used here.  Go ahead, re-read a bit.  I wait for you to catch back up.

See, here's the beauty of this treatment:

The treatment could boost cup size while reducing stomach fat.  It involves extracting stem cells from spare fat on the stomach or thighs and growing them in a woman's breasts . . . the cells will be isolated from a woman's spare fat, once it has been extracted from her thighs or stomach . . . the concentrated stem cells will then be mixed with another batch of fat before being injected into the breast.

So what we have here is yet another proof that embryonic stem cell research is obsolete.  And, quite frankly, the very reason that this is ideal for cancer patients is what also makes it useful in cosmetic applications:

Until now, when fat was transplanted to the breast without extra stem cells, surgeons had difficulty maintaining a blood supply to the new tissue. Surgeons believe the double concentration of stem cells under this technique promotes the growth of blood vessels to ensure a sufficient blood supply circulates to the transplanted fat.

Now that's cool.  Thinner thighs, flatter stomachs, bigger breasts, and no babies are killed in the process.  Is there actually a downside to this?  (I warned you that a sailor was writing this.)

For those of you who might want to read the entire article, it's available on the Times Online website.