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Mailmen Gone Wild: Driven to Larceny by the Granholm-Cherry EconomyBy Nick, Section News
It is almost like the punch line to a really rotten joke.
Me: Michigan's economy is bad. You: How bad is it? Me: It is SOOOO bad that mailmen have to steal stamps just to pay their mortgage. Oh! *Ba-Dam-CHING* That certainly isn't funny and, alas, neither is it a joke. Michigan's economy is making global headlines again this morning thanks to Macomb County Postman John Auito. The man is in hot water for swiping nearly $20,000 worth of stamps from his boss, the United States Postal Service, selling them at fifteen percent discount and pocketing the cash. The Chicago Tribune, CNN and everyone else under the sun report this morning:
That, my friends, is a stunt even Newman and Kramer wouldn't try to pull off, but here in the Granholm-Cherry economy folks are being driven to the absurd. Things aren't going to look any prettier if General Motors picks up her bankrupt headquarters and pulls a Comerica bank on the region, abandoning the Ren Cen for greener pastures. And as much as Mayor Fouts in Warren would like to see his home town become destination office space for the automaker, the odds that they leave the state entirely seem every bit as plausible. Still, Fouts is giving it the old college try. Read on...
The Detroit News:
To start, the automaker and its employees would save millions in city taxes. Unlike Detroit, Warren has no income tax.
And over the past several years, the city has been "very friendly" to GM, offering $100 million in tax cuts. Additional tax abatements will be worked out, Fouts added, if the headquarters moves from Detroit.
"We can save General Motors if they come here and be a friendly partner," he said. "We're willing to go the extra mile. I want to welcome them with open arms. We're a clean, safe and friendly city." The move would be another crippling blow to the City of Detroit but nothing another call center couldn't fix. Errrrr... nevermind. The Ivory Tower reports this morning that maybe, just maybe, potentially depending on whether or not the administration offers to give them a giant tax break, one of those extended car warranty phone solicitors' offices could set-up shop right smack dab in downtown Detroit. Now, yeah, granted, the Democrats in Washington have been attacking this industry in the last week, and sure, nobody likes getting those high pressure, non-stop phone calls at all hours of the day, and yeah, most of the jobs they create will border on minimum wage, but in Detroit you take what you can get!
The company is looking at renting office space in one of several existing buildings near Campus Martius Park. It is also negotiating with the Michigan Economic Growth Authority for tax incentives. Poor Mr. Auito. If he'd only been able to avoid grand larceny for another few weeks he may have had an opportunity at a fancy new second job helping GM move from Detroit to Warren. Maybe. But look on the bright side... when he gets out of jail there may be a telemarketing job in the Motor City with his name on it. Maybe. You know, depending on whether or not the administration gives them a giant tax break and Congressional Democrats decide to stop trying to drive the company out of business.
Mailmen Gone Wild: Driven to Larceny by the Granholm-Cherry Economy | 1 comment (1 topical, 0 hidden)
Mailmen Gone Wild: Driven to Larceny by the Granholm-Cherry Economy | 1 comment (1 topical, 0 hidden)
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