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Biden banking an awful lot on one "Dating Game" appearance

By Nick, Section News
Posted on Thu Sep 11, 2008 at 06:59:17 AM EST
Tags: (all tags)

By now you've all heard that Democratic Vice Presidential nominee Joe "Dunkin Donuts" Biden has asked Jennifer Granholm to stand in as Sarah Palin during his campaign debate prep. She'll be calling on her experience in the Hollywood audition room and six years worth of acting the part of a governor well enough to fool the voters, if not job makers and business owners.

Honestly, it is an inspired choice. The two governors share a lot of similar material in their bios. Both spent time on TV, both won small town beauty pageants, both are the first female governors in the history of their states... of course, there are differences too.

This morning's news that Ford Motor Company is looking to kill another 4,200 jobs, for instance, represents a pretty common headline theme here in Michigan. They aren't used to that in Alaska.

And nowhere in Alaska is there a city like Detroit, with scandal plagued Democratic Party leadership either on their way to jail or under federal investigation. Or being formally reprimanded by other members of the asylum.

But those are experiences that Jennifer Granholm has that Sarah Palin lacks. What's important in the governor's attempt to help the ultra-liberal Senator from Delaware is her ability to pretend she has those Alaskan experiences.

That's where we come in... conservatives are pretty helpful people so I figured it'd be nice to come up with a list of things the Governor of the state of Michigan should practice really, really hard that she doesn't experience every day on her own. I'll get us started.

Read on...

Experiences Sarah Palin has that Jennifer Granholm lacks include:

Eighty-plus percent statewide approval ratings. This one shouldn't be too tough for Biden's pal, though, since she enjoyed some decent numbers herself... once upon a time.... half a decade ago.

NOT having the highest unemployment rate in America. This one will be a little bit tougher. Up until a few years ago Alaska actually had a higher unemployment rate than Michigan but that changed and the pendulum has never swung back. Governor Palin took over and they keep getting better while we keep sliding further and faster down the jobless pit.

Having her ability to lead / campaign / govern while being a parent questioned by "Neanderthals" like Daniel Granholm Mulhern. Michigan's First Gentleman viscously smeared Governor Palin as a rotten mother only a week ago because she has the gall to run for office despite the fact she has young children. Mr. Mulhern failed to level these sexist attacks against his wife when she ran for Attorney General and then Governor with small children still at home. Or against anyone else for that matter.

On the upside, Granholm can use Dan at home to help prep on this one.

Living her faith and protecting innocent life. Sarah Palin's faith demands the protection of defenseless, voiceless human beings. Sarah Palin stands up for defenseless, voiceless human beings.

Jennifer Graholm's faith demands the protection of defenseless, voiceless human beings. Jennifer Granholm turns her back on defenseless, voiceless human beings and even vetoes laws designed to protect them from things like having scissors jabbed into their necks and their brains vacuumed out of their skulls.

I'd personally recommend the Governor re-read the second chapter of James, verses fifteen through seventeen, if she needs to prick her own conscience a little before prepping this one.

Battling her own political party. Governor Palin has literally made a career out of attacking the baser elements in her own party, defeating the bums and removing them from office. She saw corruption in the Governor's office so she ran against another Republican and beat him. She saw corruption in the United States Senate so she took her LG and ran him against the incumbent Republican Senator too.

Jennifer Granholm saw corruption in Detroit for years, was asked by the City Council to remove the corrupt mayor months and months ago and only last week, after watching and waiting and wringing her hands did she even bother to convene a hearing. Just in time for a guilty plea in the court system that took her fellow Democrat off her hands. Veeeery brave.

Giving tax dollars BACK to taxpayers. Governor Palin's economic policies created a surplus in Alaska. She returned part of it to taxpayers. Governor Granholm's economic policies create regular, annual, massive budget deficits. She raises taxes on her constituents and is now even promoting an "energy" plan that will dramatically increase rates and taxes on consumers again... just in time for the long, cold, Michigan winter.

These really represent only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the actual differences between Palin and Granholm. Whether it's job creation versus job killing, differences in tax policy or views on government regulation of the workplace and home, the women couldn't be more different. Joe Biden is banking a lot on Granholm's performance. He'd better hope she's a better actor than that spectacularly-short-lived career in Hollywood seems to indicate.

< Granholm to play Palin! | Thursday in the Sphere, September 11 >

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Biden banking an awful lot on one "Dating Game" appearance | 11 comments (11 topical, 0 hidden)

Desparation Time... (none / 0) (#1)
by RightMacomb on Thu Sep 11, 2008 at 07:07:24 AM EST

When you have to rely on the nation's least popular governor to teach Biden how to attack the nation's most popular governor, you know you are desparate.

Hollywood Experience... (none / 0) (#2)
by RightMacomb on Thu Sep 11, 2008 at 07:13:17 AM EST

So Granholm's acting time in Hollywood comes in handy...she finally gets to play the role of a real Governor.

These almost write themselves by Nick, 09/11/2008 07:20:27 AM EST (none / 0)

Sometimes, they seem to make it so easy.... by RightMacomb, 09/11/2008 07:46:04 AM EST (none / 0)

A Role of A Lifetime For Granholm (none / 0) (#7)
by jackietreehorn on Thu Sep 11, 2008 at 08:58:07 AM EST

In what should be considered the role of a lifetime, Granhom will be faced with her greatest challenge...portraying a competent governor.

Biden hopes she can act better than she governs.

I see the humor in your post, (none / 0) (#8)
by Come On on Thu Sep 11, 2008 at 10:14:14 AM EST

but I don't think it is entirely fair.

No disrespect to the accomplishments of Governor Palin, but there are differences that you left out. Granholm is dealing with a declining auto industry and a decaying manufacturing sector. These occurrences cannot be squarely blamed on her.

Gov. Palin is dealing with a booming oil industry which also is not in her control.

I also find it strange that no one else is bothered by the fact that part of Alaska's good fortune is based on its status as a welfare state.

http://www.economist.com/displaystory.cfm?story_id=7830279
http://www.taxfoundation.org/taxdata/show/22685.html
http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2008-03-22-earmarks_N.htm

But you forgot to add... by RightMacomb, 09/11/2008 12:23:00 PM EST (none / 0)

I don't know who I should feel more sorry for... (none / 0) (#12)
by KG One on Thu Sep 11, 2008 at 05:53:37 PM EST

...an actress who thinks that she can govern (and is being tapped into playing someone who can), or a plagiarist who was drummed out of his last run for the brass ring, and is now making a second go at it?

My nephew has a great name for people like that: Loser!

Come On (none / 0) (#13)
by Ed Burley on Thu Sep 11, 2008 at 10:39:23 PM EST

I also find it strange that no one else is bothered by the fact that part of Alaska's good fortune is based on its status as a welfare state.

The first two links you provided were from articles PRIOR to Palin becoming Governor (nice try). The third article makes a case against the Washington-based Alaskan politicians who are "bringing home the bacon." None of this has anything to do with Gov. Palin.

When the money comes into Alaska's coffers, the legislature and the governor find ways to spend it. Hardly a case against Palin.

Ed Burley (none / 0) (#14)
by Come On on Fri Sep 12, 2008 at 04:06:07 PM EST

I wasn't making a case against Gov. Palin. My comment was about the differences in the economies of Alaska and Michigan, and how those differences would shape the perception of the states' respective governors.

My sentence that you quoted and misunderstood was about Alaska - not Gov. Palin. The links were from a variety of news sources to show where Alaska's wealth comes from, not how she chose to spend it.

Just wanted to clear that up.

Come On 2 (none / 0) (#15)
by Ed Burley on Sat Sep 13, 2008 at 01:12:07 PM EST

I note your distinction, but notice also that the first couple paragraphs of your first post were comparing Granholm and Palin. I think you can understand how I saw it as a slam against Palin, especially with all the misogynist Democrats taking pot-shots at her; along with the Religious Right who believes that "a woman's place is in the home." My belief, as a libertarian Republican is that a woman's place is wherever she decides it to be. If she's married, then the decision becomes partly her husband's as well.

Biden banking an awful lot on one "Dating Game" appearance | 11 comments (11 topical, 0 hidden)

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Raise the curtain.

Biden banking an awful lot on one "Dating Game" appearance

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