The new cigarette products not only introduce a more extreme cocktail of lethal chemicals into the lungs of smokers, but also require a smoker to suck on the cancer stick more aggressively to keep it alight.  

I wonder if the new product will make it more difficult for bums to set hotels on fire while trying to light them with burning scraps of paper rather than safe striking matches or safety lighters.

Perhaps all cigarettes should be outlawed once and for all just to get beyond these problems,  perhaps fire itself should be stamped out in favor of magical heating fairy dust.